Monday, October 26, 2015

Something I Treasure

Write one well-written and thought-out paragraph. Use complete sentences and correct grammar. Upper classmen should be writing paragraphs with compound and complex sentences that are a minimum of six sentences long. Things to consider

  1. Eye Contact--Was it difficult using a manuscript?
  2. Nervousness
  3. Audience Feedback
  4. Preparation 
  5. Speaking Rate (too fast? too slow? too many pauses?)
  6. Gestures (Did you do any?)
  7. Poise and Presence 
  8. Introduction and Conclusion
  9. Organization
  10. Facial Expressions
  11. Visual Aid

What went well? What do you need to work on for the next speech? Be as specific as possible! 

In addition, leave feedback for at least two students. Feedback should be specific and original

84 comments:

  1. I thought my speech went pretty well. I did not like the manuscript style as much because it took away from a lot of my eye contact. As we do more and more speeches I get less and less nervous to go up there and present. I thought my introduction and conclusion were strong and I felt very organized with my notes and visual aid. If I could do something different I would add in more gestures to my speech. Overall I thought it went pretty solid.

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    1. I really enjoyed your speech. I thought you sounded poised and eloquent when speaking. I thought you opened with a really good quote and managed to maintain eye contact which I imagine would be tougher on a manuscript speech. Overall I really enjoyed listening to your speech!

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    2. I really liked your speech! I loved all the cute, funny stories you told and your visual aid was great! You seemed very confident up there and it did not seem like you were reading off a manuscript. I really liked you intro with including a quote. I do not think anyone has done that in awhile. Great job!

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    3. I really liked your speech, it makes me wish I had a sister. You were very clear and poised. You had a good speaking rate and eye contact. I also enjoyed your visual aid.

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    4. Great job Brooke, your speech was well put together and well practiced. Eye contact was pretty good even though you had to say the speech word for word from the manuscript. Overall a really good speech, can't wait to see the next one.

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    5. I really enjoyed your speech. I found that it was really easy to connect to, as I have two sisters myself. You had great poise and confidence up there!

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    6. Good job. I think every time when I saw your speech, you looks very calm and in a good pace. You looked at your audience and seemed very confident. It also connected to my life.

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  2. This has been my favorite speech by far. I really tried to focus on speaking slowly and clearly while I was up there, as well as focusing on eye contact. I could have added gestures but was trying to use my hand to keep my place on my manuscript. Eye contact was easier than I expected and I felt very comfortable and calm the entire time I spoke, in contrast to how nervous I was for the impromptu. My only real complaint is I forgot the visual aid to bring in. That is the only thing I would change about this speech if I had the option.

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    1. I loved your speech! I thought it was very well presented. You talked nice and slow which was really nice and you seemed very poised. I just really enjoyed your speech as a whole. The way you presented it and the story you told, it was all really nice! Great job!

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    2. I really enjoyed listening to your speech. I thought you spoke clear and you were composed. I thought your stories were interesting and captured our attentions. I thought I learned a lot more about you I didn't know previously which is always fun. Awesome speech overall!

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    3. Your speeches are always very informative and interesting. You seem very calm and poised when you are up there. You had great eye contact and you seemed very prepared. Your speech definitely pulled the audience in and gave us an outlook on your life. Overall, I really enjoyed it!

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    4. Your speech was super good. I could tell you were interested in what you had to say and that made me interested too. You are always so confident and poised! Keep it up!

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    5. I really enjoyed your speech. I like how you incorporated your past and your future into your speech. I agree with Krista that you are always confident and poised. Overall you had another fantastic speech.

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    6. Kendra, your speech was really well done. You made great eye contact and even though not all of us could relate to your story, you still painted a picture of the frailty of life and how it could be taken away in an instant. Great job on this speech I hope the rest of them turn out just as well as this one did.

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    7. When I started to hear your speech, I was astonished and was feeling so sad on what you were saying and I am just so glad that your dad didn't die and that nothing serious happened to him. You really kept me focused on your speech with your calm, fluid speaking and I feel that you really covered your speech well.

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    8. Kendra, well done. Your introduction was amazing. I could sort of relate to your speech because my dad was also a victim of a brutal motorcycle accident. Even though you were reading from a manuscript, you had excellent eye contact!

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    9. I really like your speech. I want to say that the speech is from your soul. It is so much meaningful. Your experience makes you so strong and I like your personality. Your tone was very good and there are lots of eye contact to audience.

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  3. Overall I really enjoyed this speech. I liked how we could write all our ideas and thoughts out and have them right in front of us. It was not as difficult as I thought to write up the manuscript, but once I had it printed there was some things I wanted to add or take out. That is the only thing I did not like about having the manuscript. This time around for my speech I was not nervous at all! I do really feel more comfortable up there presenting in front of everyone. I was more worried about my time and how I was going to have eye contact while presenting. It turned out better than I thought! I thought I made good eye contact and stayed poised throughout my speech. I do think for the next few speeches that I will use manuscript.

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    1. Your speech was excellent as always! You always tell me how nervous you are, but it never shows when you are up there. Your topic was very interesting and you tied everything together very well. Your eye contact was good and you seemed very organized.

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    2. Your speech was very good. You always have good facial expressions, I like that you're always smiling. The picture of your family I think helped the audience connect and you seemed to really enjoy sharing your stories of your grandma. Also great job on the eye contact, you weren't staring down at your manuscript the whole time.

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    3. Sarah, yet again, another great speech. You were able to connect what you were saying about your grandmother to our own grandparents. Really well done on eye contact and not staring down at you paper the whole time. Overall this was one of your best speeches yet and the next one is bound to be a knockout.

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    4. Great job Sarah! You did a really great job with connecting with the audience. You also had excellent poise and I could definitely tell that you practiced.

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    5. Sarah, your speech is very good. I could feel the important of your family to you in your speech. I think you did what your grandma told you when you were young. It also connects to my grandma, she also taught me a lot of things when I was little.

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  4. I liked that my speech made the time limit because I honestly thought that this speech wasn't going to be long enough, as I tried to speak really fast to avoid emotion. The thing I hated the most was my eye contact. I tried to look up but every time I did, I lost my place on my manuscript. So after the second time I gave it a shot, I pretty much just looked down for the rest of my speech. For some reason I felt way more comfortable in this speech than any other one I have done so far. Overall, I am glad that I had a chance to talk about my brother Dominic.

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    1. I liked your speech. I like hearing about your brother and all the things you do together and sounds like you're a good big brother. I thought you had good eye contact which was hard to do on manuscript speech and you didn't seem nervous up there at all. I struggled with the timing of my speech too! Good speech!

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    2. Your speech was very nice! It was awesome hearing about your relationship with your brother and they way he changed your perspective on different people. Your eye contact could have been better, but for a manuscript speech I thought it was pretty good. You seemed comfortable up there and your speech flowed very well with your stories and transitions!

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    3. I really liked hearing your story about your brother, I can tell how much you care about him and how special he is to you. The photo of him was adorable and the story kept me engaged and interested, I can imagine how scary that day must have been before he was found. I noticed when you lost your place but you recovered well and still maintained some eye contact throughout the rest of the speech. Also great job with gestures! Overall great job!

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    4. I think you did a fantastic job! I liked hearing about your close bond with your brother because that is something I can relate to. You did not seem nervous up there. Overall you did well! You're an excellent speaker.

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    5. Vincent, with this speech you really grabbed us from the beginning with the picture on the screen. You could have just talked about how you love the way he acts and the way he talks to you and plays with you but you took it a level higher and pretty much shocked everyone when you went in to check in on him and he wasn't there. Personally I thankfully haven't had anything like that happen to me in my life but hearing your story made it feel like it was my sibling that got lost. Really well done and very good storytelling. I don't know how you will follow this speech up but I know it's going to be amazing.

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    6. Vincent, your speech was one of my favorites. Although I can sort of relate to your speech because I have a younger brother with special needs. It has taught me a lot, just as you mentioned it taught you. Great job and keep up the good work!

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  5. I thought this speech went fairly well. I really liked having everything written out in front of me I think it helped with my nerves. My voice didn't shake as much which was a plus. I think my eye contact suffered tremendously due to the fact I was reading it off a paper and I will work on it for next time. I wish I would've chosen another topic my dog didn't give me a lot to talk about and I found myself grasping for ideas to make time. If I could do it again I would've chosen another topic and I think it would have been more interesting for you all to listen to. Overall I think I will be choosing manuscript in the future but I wish I would've chosen a different topic.

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    1. Every time you start to give a speech, the first thing I always think about is your lungs shaking. The thing was that I never heard your voice shake once or saw your hands shaking or nothing like that. Although you thought your topic didn't give you a lot to talk about, you spoke with great confidence which I believe still kept the audience very focused on you. It is fun hearing how good a dog can be to you, I had a black lab when I was little and it's dead now but I can relate to how they can really be their for you and be a real companion. Way to go!

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    2. Alex, this is the first speech you've done where your voice and/or hands didn't shake, and that's awesome! You seem to be gaining confidence which really improves your speeches. The photo of your dog as a puppy is adorable and I connected because it brought back memories of a puppy I used to have as a child. I could tell how much you love your dog and that really made your speech stand out. Awesome job on this speech, I think this has been my favorite speech by you so far.

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    3. When I write a comment on a speech it because I remember and liked the speech. I liked the dog. I liked the story of how you obtained the dog even from the given circumstances. I like the picture you painted of driving in the car because we had a similar predicament. Good work Givich.

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    4. Alex, the content of the speech was really good even though it didn't quite make time. You didn't look very nervous at all, I suspect, because you were talking about something that just came naturally to talk about. Hearing the adoption story was really nice and in the end turned out well. Even though your eve contact wasn't amazing, you still were able to make us feel good about a happy ending. Nice job.

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    5. I think your choice of choosing a manuscript will be a good choice too. You sounded super comfortable with this style and I barely even noticed that you were reading from a paper.

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    6. Alex, I noticed that you seemed a lot more comfortable up there. I would definitely recommend using a manuscript. You had amazing eye contact and I could tell that you practiced. Great job!

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  6. I thought this speech went very well for me. I really spoke from the heart which I feel like I haven't been able to do as much with past speeches. Talking on a topic I was passionate about really helped. At one point in the speech I was having a little trouble keeping it together, but I pulled through. I really enjoyed doing this speech and I am excited to see the rest of them tomorrow.

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    1. I thought your speech went well! You always do a good job and I could tell as a listener that you were passionate about this topic. Well done!

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    2. Krista, you had a great speech. It really hit home for me because I really didn't have many friends in grade school either. I'm not sure about everyone else but I thought you were really able to connect. Your speech stood out as a quite touching speech that was well put together and had some really good eye contact. Great job.

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    3. Krista, you really had a great speech. It was really personal to you and it showed in your emotion. You connected really well with the audience and spoke from your heart. This story was obviously really important to you and it really kept our attention. You had some good eye contact and made us feel exactly what you were feeling. Overall, great job!

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    4. Krista, I really enjoyed your speech because I was able to connect so easily. I had a hard time with friends and being "backstabbed" in middle school too, and I also found a lot of comfort in music. This was a really personal story to share and I'm sure it took a lot of courage to share this with the class. I really like how you always have good gestures and facial expressions when you give your speeches.

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  7. I thought this speech went better than expected for me. The night before I was double thinking my choice to do it on the bracelet but then I decided that it was better since I was the most passionate about it. Even though it was a manuscript, I believe that I made good eye contact and everything went smoothly. It was something that not that many people know about me so I was glad to share it. Even though I started getting emotional, I feel like I kept it together as best as I could. My transitions were solid and I think opening up my speech with the definition of treasure was a good idea. I think that I really connected with the audience. I really liked this speech and I want to do more manuscripts in the future.

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    1. I thought you did really well! It takes a lot of confidence to go up there and pour your heart out like you did. I admire that. Overall well done.

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    2. Randi I really enjoyed your speech. You spoke about something that meant so much to you and you poured your heart into that speech. You had great poise and confidence up there. Nice job!

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    3. Randi, you had a great speech that most of us were really able to connect to trying to fit in to the puzzle of high school. You had pretty good eye contact and you were able to enunciate enough that we could still hear you through the emotions. You had a well put together speech and it sounded really good. Nice job.

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    4. Your speech really stood out to me more than anybody else's. I think it's very easy for everyone to relate to stories of struggles fitting in, everybody has been there at one point in their life. It kept me captivated the entire time. Your introduction especially grabbed my attention with your definitions of the word treasure. Also props to you for still being able to speak clearly when your speech got emotional. Overall another great speech from you.

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  8. I hated this speech, it did not have substance to it. I went over this speech +40 times and yet I still screwed up. The idea in general was terrible and It did not have the effect I wanted to provide the audience. I barely made eye contact. when I made I tried or thought about making eye contact I screwed up speaking. I am not eloquent. I am merely so different that you are slightly interested to see what I am talking about.

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    1. “Maybe each human being lives in a unique world, a private world different from those inhabited and experienced by all other humans. . . If reality differs from person to person, can we speak of reality singular, or shouldn't we really be talking about plural realities? And if there are plural realities, are some more true (more real) than others? What about the world of a schizophrenic? Maybe it's as real as our world. Maybe we cannot say that we are in touch with reality and he is not, but should instead say, His reality is so different from ours that he can't explain his to us, and we can't explain ours to him. The problem, then, is that if subjective worlds are experienced too differently, there occurs a breakdown in communication ... and there is the real illness.”
      ― Philip K. Dick

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    2. David, personally, I couldn't relate to your story but quite frankly, it was pretty great to hear. Your choice of words was amazing and I'm not sure if you meant to go for the poetry angle but it really added to the story. Now I'm not trying to console you on your thoughts about how you did here but I thought the speech turned out pretty well. You may not think it did from your perspective but in the end it made sense in a weird roundabout way that is hard to put into words. Hope you like your next one just as much as I liked this one.

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    3. David, even though you hated it, your speech was amazing. You have this thing about you when you talk that makes us all listen and it's really amazing. You kept our attention with your great word choices and funny story line. Your eye contact suffered though, but I feel like everyone's did. We all enjoyed your speech more than you did but you did a really great job!!

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    4. I think you're giving yourself a hard time to be honest. Although you didn't seem very comfortable you sent us a message and we recieved it and it definitley impacted everyone who was listening. I also have to disagree with your last statement. You aren't "different" in a way that everyone else is different. What you had to say was very interesting and your words flowed together very nicely. I thought it was great.

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    5. I think you did well on this speech. Your tone sounded very paced and comfortable. I also have sibling and we have many fun things goes on everyday also. I like how you use your humor to make the class warm. Good job.

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    6. David, I like listening to your speeches, because you just kind of use your humor to relate to the audience. Also, you just go up to the front and it almost seems like you're not afraid to present your speech. Nice Job.

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    7. I thought that you did good on your speech. The words that you used were very good and some parts of your speech were pretty funny. I couldn't really relate to your speech, but I somewhat understood what you had to do.

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  9. I did not mind this speech. I did not like my topic but I could not think of something to talk about so I settled for the acorn topic. I liked the manuscript style but I do not think I will use it again. I think my eye contact suffered. I think I spoke clearer on this speech. I was more confident this speech. Overall I did not mind this speech.

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    1. I liked your speech. It was cool how you told us about the things you collect from your hiking experiences. Its a cool thing to do that with family and friends as well. I felt that you did well on your speech and that your eye contact was good. You flowed well through your speech and overall did a good job.

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    2. Keilani, I thought your speech went well, personally I'm not a big hiker but the rest of my family is so I can sort of understand why you like it so much. The acorn was a cool way to showcase an activity that you can't bottle up. Your speech made sense and you were able to keep everyone listening, nice job.

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    3. I really liked your speech and how you went about it. Camping and hiking are things that I have always wanted to try out, but never can. It is also really cool how you and your dad are very close and also how you bring something home after every trip. Nice job.

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  11. I was so nervous on the speech, because I forgot my manuscript at home and printed out before class. I think prepared well is very important to induce stage fright. I will try to remember everything before the speech. Overall, I enjoy the class and the speech. But after I heard other people's speeches, I realized that my speech was too short. But that is the way how I learn things. I believe I will do better in my next speech. In my opinion, all classmates were went very well, some people were very touched. I think everyone's treasure was very wonderful.

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    1. Sharon, even though your speech was not perfect you still had a story to tell that was really interesting. You taught us about teaching to kids. It may not have been as heart pounding as some of the other speeches but to the right audience, that speech could really touch someone's life. To recap, Great speech just not the right audience. If we were a group of teachers from anywhere though this would have been a speech to reignite our love for teaching.

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  12. "If someone feels touched they live a touched life." This statement out of the whole speech stood out to me, I like that. Great eye contact. I could understand the wording presented. Example was presented and was not a distraction to you or the audience I felt. Material overall was good and the way it presented was good. Excellent job.

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  13. I was very nervous for this speech even though I had every word on a piece of paper in front of me. I feel being recorded made me become nervous and if you would self conscious about my speech. I didn't think my eye contact was to bad but it could've been better. I felt prepared before I gave my speech then nervousness came over me. I felt comfortable up at the podium speaking to my classmates. I didn't have many gestures because I was focusing on my speech and reading from it. My intro and conclusion could be worked on. Overall I thought my speech went okay.

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    1. I feel you did a nice job on your speech. I liked how you flowed through your speech. You did have good eye contact and transitioned well. I did not see many problems with your speech. You looked like you prepared well and I think you did a nice job.

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    2. Hailey, your visual aids were special and different. They really added a nice element to your speech. You did really well during the speech despite what you think. Your eye contact wasn't amazing but with a manuscript it never is. Overall nice job, you really were able to show us your treasure to a neat extent.

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    3. Hailey, I think your speech is very good. I really like the dolls that your grandma made for you. You connected to audience, it is true that grandma will make something for me. It is so touched that you kept your grandma's dolls so perfectly.

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  14. This was an easy speech for me due to the fact we could use a script. Knowing we could have the script in front of us eased my nerves. I felt really good about this speech heading into it. I was able to talk about something that is close to me. That really can be said for everyone in the class. I felt that my eye contact could have moved around the room better. I also feel that I could have done better with my transitions. I would lose my spot here and there which is the downside of this speech. I do feel that overall this speech went well and I really did like this speech.

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    1. Tyler, your speech went really well, you made some pretty good eye contact and you showed us that not all manuscript speeches had no eye contact. Your story was touching even though I've never been hunting. The final part where you told us how you could see the excitement in his face even though he was trying not to show it made everyone smile. Great job, can't wait to see the next one.

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  15. I thought my speech was so so. It had very little eye contact and when I did look up I think I only looked at a few people. On the plus side, the props seemed to spark some attention. I think the speech was planned out really well on paper and it sounded ok when I practiced to myself but when I actually presented the speech it seemed a little rough. Again, I need to work on my eye contact and in the future I will not be using a manuscript, that took a lot of eye contact away. In the end the speech was not horrible but it wasn't amazing either.

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    1. Bryan, I always like your speeches and this one was no exception. All of the things your grandpa made were fun and unique and it sounds like he touched many lives just by being himself, a talent that not many people have. I now sometimes find myself looking for golf balls on cars when I'm driving. Your speaking rate was good, you spoke slowly and clearly enough that you were easy to understand, and I don't think your eye contact was bad at all. You're always smiling when you do your speeches, which makes you connect with the audience a lot. Good job!

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    2. Bryan, I liked your treasure speech. I liked how you shared the real meaning of that cross made of golf balls, because I always saw that on top of your car but I didn't actually know the real meaning behind it. Overall, nice job!

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    3. I really liked your speech Bryan. I liked how you connected with our audience and how you talk about something that really means a lot to you. I know it is very hard to talk about such a touching topic and you did great at all aspects of this speech. Well done.

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  16. I thought my speech was decent. I have a very hard time giving a speech from a manuscript because it just feels very unnatural as though I'm presenting a report. I had a hard time with eye contact and by trying to lighten the mood in the beginning I ended up just looking awkward. despite all this though it seemed to go better than I thought it would.

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    1. Zack, your speech went very well. Your speech brought me to travel in Calorado. I like to hear someone talk about their travel experience. For me, traveling also gave me a lot of treasure experience and memory. Your gesture and eye contact is very good. Good job.

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  17. Overall, I thought that this speech went all right. I think my rate and volume was good. I struggled a lot with eye contact. This is probably because I was required to use a manuscript. I was afraid that if I looked up, I would lose my spot on the page and get docked off even more points than if I would just look at the paper. For the next speech, I will definitely be using a different method than a manuscript.

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  18. I thought that my speech was ok. My speaking was all too great, because I get emotional whenever I talk about my grandpa and I can't, I guess, really help that. In the beginning of my speech, during my intro, I tried to make as much eye contact as I could, because I knew I would get emotional during the rest of my speech. The other half of my speech was my manuscript, or paper. I thought my paper was way better than my actual speech. In addition, I thought I was very organized with my paper. Even though my time was less than what the requirements were, I still thought my speech went just like what I planned and thought.

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  19. I thought my speech went well. I thought that I was loud enough for everyone to hear and I have felt like that all year. My confidence level was higher during this speech because I had everything I wanted to say right in front of me. All though I had my manuscript, it really effected my eye contact because I felt like if I would look up I would lose my spot which I kind of did in the beginning. I should've practiced one or two more times I felt like so then I could have memorized it better and could make better eye contact. Overall I felt good about this speech though and hopefully can carry my confidence over to my next few speeches.

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    1. I thought this was one of your better speeches. You seemed well prepared, and your topic was meaningful. You could have had a little bit better eye contact. Overall, good speech

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  20. I think that I did well on this speech. I did not have a lot of eye contact, but I thought that my content was good. I practiced for this speech more than any other speech. I thought I was pretty well prepared. I didn't really like the manuscript style, but I think that it worked out.

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